even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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