i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
