Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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