My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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