I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
