Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
