it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Randomize
