Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize