??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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