Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
