Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
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