That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We don't watch enough power rangers
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize