Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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