Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
