i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
