I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My vagina is officially offended.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
