Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
