it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
