And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
