Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just invented taco cereal.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What a dumb baby whore.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize