i would punch a child for taco bell
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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