I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
