That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
