I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
