morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
