oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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