if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
