you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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