David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I will be naked everywhere
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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