Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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