Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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