have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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