Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
