do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize