Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
