dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
