Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Send help, water and tortillas.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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