Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
