WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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