Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
