fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize