so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
