So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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