is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
