It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
