This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
