Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
