reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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