They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
