i don't plan on having that self control this summer
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
