I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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