I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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