Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
