Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
