Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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