Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You can't just leave with hair like that
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
