In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
