she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
